her vagine was all disorganized.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
