I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
