It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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