Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
