Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
