you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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