Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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