My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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