I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
