the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
