4 words: hood of his car
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
