ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
