The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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