Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
