my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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