I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
