I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
