She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
