He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
