THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
