I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
