I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
