Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
The air taste purple.
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