If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And my parents said I crawled through the house
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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