is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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