My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
