she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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