I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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