She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
