i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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