You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
