did you get engaged???
so that wasnt chicken after all
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
