WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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