yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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