she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
