I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He better not be in your backpack
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
