You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
