I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
be right there i have to get my cape
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
