Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
