I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
