i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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