DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
