Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
