I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
