are you still at the devil's house?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
