what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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