plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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