Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
