So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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