She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
